― Gautama Buddha
This is a post about self-love, which was very important for me to develop in order to reach my current weight and fitness level.
I think that most of us place too much doubt and blame on ourselves when we try our very best to give to others, but the reaction to our brave attempt of giving is surprisingly dismal.
In my office work, I write each document as persuasively as I can. I spend the time to make excellent arguments and put every ounce of myself into it. Then I send it out to be judged.
When I send my document out, I must mentally let it go. I've done all I can in my writing that is in my control to do, but how it is received is not up to me. So I must be okay with doing my best regarding my part of the process. No matter the result, my action of writing is fully complete in and of itself. This type of thinking, regardless of whether my ideas are received well or poorly, has helped me a great deal.
I cannot force anyone to accept my ideas. The receiving aspect is not up to me, and I have no control over it. But the giving aspect, that is all me, so I try to be very proud of what ideas and arguments I give to others with my very best intent behind them. The giving aspect of my ideas is a complete act in and of itself. The result is another complete act in and of itself that is not about me.
In our daily lives, when we give to others, our act of giving is a complete act in and of itself. We should not blame ourselves if it is not received how we intended, because how it is received is not up to us. Our act of giving is a complete act. Each act of giving is filled with all of our good wishes for that person, which can never be wrong. Never! When doing a good act, we should view it as as a complete act, no matter how it is received. We can learn to be happy in the act itself, versus the result we may or may not get.
If the person on the receiving end acts like our giving act is nothing or not much, despite our best effort to give, that is about them, not us. We may be misunderstanding them, or there are various reasons why people act as they do. However, we should not take the blame or shame for their reactions.
It is our intent behind our act that matters most. And you know this--by having a certain friend who constantly says the wrong thing, but she has a heart of gold. And we also know that by fakey friends who always say the right things, but somehow make us feel bad about ourselves.
Part of self-love is to take responsibility for our own actions, but also to not take blame for others' actions. We are doomed to feelings of failure if we are only results-orientated, because we are not in control of many aspects of the results. I see too many people beat themselves up for results that are out of their control. And that is sad to me, which is why I write this post.
I want none of you, my friends, to be disappointed in yourself for things out of your control, because that is unfair to you and it makes you needlessly disappointed in yourself. Further, it is destructive to your spirit of giving, which you need to keep healthy to have joy in your life.
To practice self-love: What we can do is our own best, with good intent attached to that. And for those very reasons of doing our best and having good intent, we can love our own selves for that in a very happy way regardless of results.
What do *you* think? This line of thought has helped me feel better over many difficult situations. And I hope it helps you too.
Have a Wonderful Day!