This post is probably the most interesting fitness ideas I've had in a while. So if you want a new method for how to increase your own love/"affection for fitness," read this post.
Normally, people who go to gym never think to complement the people who are fittest at the gym. They think, Those people are doing so well, they certainly don't need to be told again! Well friends, you don't say the compliment for this fit person, you do it for you.
You walk up to a super fit gym person and say, "That exercise is so cool!" How do you do it?"
or what I told someone this weekend,
"Your delts are awesome! What exercises are you doing to make that happen?" (This guy's delts really were the best shoulder muscles I've seen in years! And, as I write this, this sounds like the perfect come-on, but the guy had seen me bench press before, so he knew I was all business.)
They are, of course, very complimented. But the more important thing is that you stepped your foot into the circle of fit people at the gym.
In order to become a truly fit person, you have to become very comfortable being with very fit people.
If you are not comfortable with fittest people in the gym, you are only parroting fitness. You are not allowing yourself to belong in the "fit people group." You have yet not developed the mindset to become a very fit person.
But you can tip-toe slowly into the fit people groups, with one little step at a time. At first when you compliment the fit person and ask what they are doing, often the fit person will size you up and see if you are receptive to a little coaching. If you listen to their advice, and you do better because of it, that person will notice (or, honestly, you can tell him or her). Then, thank them. When that fit person notices that you respond to coaching and you are thankful for it, you might be lucky to get a new intelligent fitness person on your side. Awesome! That is the start of a new gym buddy relationship.
It takes time, but eventually, if you try super hard at the gym, week after week, with no whining about how hard it is to be your best (nobody in the super fit groups whine, because we love our exercise), the fit people will appreciate your effort. They will smile when you're doing an exercise wrong and kindly correct your exercise form. And you will be embarrassed (!!!) and perhaps curse in your mind--but thank them graciously for the help. And you will fix your mistakes and get better. Often, they will remember your good attitude and keep helping you.
The more super fit friends you have, the more likely you will become very fit. As they say, "Birds of a feather flock together." Simply having very fit friends helps you become more fit. You feel their love of fitness. You ponder their mentality of doing intelligent exercise with specific reasoning behind it. You hear about their personal methods for fitness success. You listen to what goals they are currently working on. You invest your thoughts regarding their fitness, and cheer their effort on with a smile passing them by and them just knowing that you are glad to see them at the gym.
My fit gym buddies and I still keep track of each other and cheer each other on. There is nothing happier than being among a group of gym buddies who are all doing exceptionally well. It is fun and always motivational. And you get to be friends with exceptional weight lifters, the best bikers, marathoners, and the smartest yoga people, who have the knowledge that will help you get better. They will always leave you uplifted, and probably laughing too.
So be the clever person who strategically compliments the fit people at your gym. And then be receptive to their advice. Let them into your life. It could be life-changing for you, as it was for me.
What do *you* think? As usual, comment on whatever you like. I like your varied opinions. :D
Have a fantastic week!
:-) Marion
I like this notion Marion and in an even broader sense! I met a couple of 'known' bloggers at conferences this year and commented on how much I enjoy their work / writing and they were always surprised and honoured.
ReplyDeleteI'd thought that they were so popular or well-read they were used to compliments and little 'ole me would mean nothing to them. But I was wrong!
A good rule for life in general perhaps. If we think someone's doing a good job, we should mention it... cos maybe others (like us) assume they already know and they think it goes unnoticed!
Deb
Hi Deb! Yes, this applies to all areas of life. I could probably write a book called "Everything I Know about Life I Learned at the Gym" because everything I do at the gym to get better and have a better social network works in any situation.
DeleteI'm glad you reached out to those known bloggers. Now there is definitely less degrees of separation among you.
:-) Marion
Great points! I think the more your connect yourself to others who work out hard at the gym, the more successful your workouts will be.
ReplyDeleteI also like Deb's points. We should tell people in all areas of our lives when they are doing a great job!
Have a great week!
Hi Andrea! Yes, we should compliment people who are doing well in any area of life, even if they are doing better than ourselves in that area. That's a hard thought initially, but I'm convinced that if we get close to people who are doing well in any area, their opportunities that are swirling around them come closer to us.
Delete:-) Marion
Even though I agree with you in a larger sense, I still like to keep to myself at the gym. I do my thing and leave it at that. I have had a few people come up to me though and ask what the heck I am doing, or comment that I must be training for some insane sport.
ReplyDeleteHi Chris! I think you are just very focused right now. In about 5 or 10 years, when you've done a couple hundred (or thousand) more variations of exercises, there will come a point where you wonder what there is left new to do at the gym. The answer is to befriend and guide the newbies who really want to exceed. It is awesome.
Delete:-) Marion
My first thought was...what a come on until I read the entire post. Many years ago I had a couple co-workers in the Air Force that were body builders. They asked me if I would go to lunch with them. We went to the Dining hall and met up with some of their other friends. Everyone was a huge body builder but me. Sitting with guys that were all arms shoulders and chest made me feel small for a man 6 foot tall. The Air Force weight standard program back then was...odd to say the least. Both of these guys were put on the weight reduction program for being over the allowable weight standards, even though it was all muscles. Eventually they both were involuntarily separated from the military for failure to keep the weight standards. I hope the program has changed since my retirement from active duty 18 years ago. Those guys could practically lift a car.
ReplyDeleteHi Marc! Yes, I was weightlifting today by guys who were benching nearly 400 pounds. I am friends with huge all-muscle mostly fairly handsome guys. And many women would think "awesome!" about that, but it really is a weightlifting relationship. I am a very serious weightlifter, currently the best woman weightlifter at my gym, and they all know that.
DeleteMostly we don't talk much, but just smile as we pass by. But sometimes we occasionally talk about super sets, how to best heal gym injuries, our specific weightlifting methods, our next goals, etc.... We all keep high standards and appreciate each other for that. And any of them would help me out if I needed a spotter, or really for anything. They are a great set of guys to know. And they are much more intelligent about fitness than most people know. They are just people we know.
:-) Marion
This really does make perfect sense, and is something I've never really considered before. Not only does it put you in the right frame of mind, but it also helps those of us who are wallflowers to begin with actually learn to socialize better around people.
ReplyDeleteHi Ellen! Yes, well I learned to socialize at the gym. And it is a realistic and wonderful way to change one's attitude about fitness. And, yes, I used to be super shy a long time ago, and learned there are specific things I could say that would get positive responses from almost anyone. It's a skill people can learn.
Delete:-) Marion
For me, I'm not much of a socializer at the gym, but smiling and saying hello to people makes you feel like you "belong." One of the ways I motivate myself to get to the gym is knowing that the people there know who I am and I'm somehow accountable to them to show up. Silly, but it gets me in the door a lot!
ReplyDeleteHi Chelle! I call that the positive peer pressure of the gym. I have good caring gym buddies who get on my case if I'm not being 100% committed to my fitness and/or weight. That's because they care, and it's good for me. And, yes, I feel that people at the gym expect me to be there. I wouldn't want it any other way. :D
Delete:-) Marion
I don't have any problem complementing fit people at the gym! What I have also done is ask them to what they attribute there fitness too. The most common answer has been CONSISTENCY! True that!
ReplyDeleteHi Dr. J! Well, when I started talking to the fit people in the gym, I learned that my technique and form was lacking. I also didn't have the attitude of a fit person. I learned information that made me *much* better in the gym, from talking to people who knew much more than I did.
Delete:-) Marion
I agree, Marion that it is important to seek out advice from those who know if you want to get ideas and help to improve. Being part of a running group has given me a lot of guidance over the years.
ReplyDeleteHi Paul! Not only do you get the guidance, but you get the "belongingness" of being in the running group.
Delete:-) Marion
I think this is great! I don't workout at a gym but I think I would be intimidated by the super-fit guys and women there!
ReplyDeleteHi Diane! They're just people, like everyone else. :D
Delete:-) Marion
I like the way you advice us to be part or become part of the super fit world in the gym. One needs to think very careful who you approach and how because you do get people who might think that you're into them and look for more. Which is not cool for me.
ReplyDeleteHi Marleen! Well, I dress modestly when I weight lift--full-sized t-shirts and yoga capris. I do know that most of the weightlifting guys who are my gym buddies are married. So I always behave in way such that we are all proud of who we are when we leave the gym.
Delete:-) Marion
I never thought of this...the entire post makes so much sense...I usually only smile and say hello, nothing more but I agree with you if I can connect with people who are good/fit it will surely help me improve my level.I will surely give it a try (might take some time..I'm the shy type :) )
ReplyDeleteHi Tanvee! I used to be super shy too. But people are just people. If you complement them first, who doesn't like that?!!! And most people who really love fitness do like to talk shop a little. Many of us had people who guided us in the gym, and we feel we should give back.
Delete:-) Marion